Too Good at Goodbyes

When I first heard this song on the radio, I instantly balled my eyes out. F*king Sam Smith.. You can tell this man has gone through some sh*t. But who hasn't right? Most of us have that "one" that made us good at goodbyes. I know I do..

It seems like a millennial thing to be quick to throw things away, or rather replace them because of the fast-paced, ever-changing generation we live in.. From recorded cassette mixtapes to Spotify playlists, to new iPhones every year, it's no wonder we don't seem to attach to anything anymore. Except for maybe, people.. But even replacing people in our lives has gotten easier with the rise of dating apps such as Tinder and MeetMe (another story on that later).

Old school parents will tell you something along the lines of "when something's broken, you fix it, not throw it away." As much as I find that honorable, there are just some situations that you have to walk away from. You can't fix something that doesn't want to be fixed, especially when it involves two people where the other person just simply isn't there.

For years I thought, if I just stay and try to fix it, maybe I can make it work.. But that's not the case. I couldn't make it work, WE had to make it work, unfortunately, my other half of WE was convinced that it was all my fault and only my responsibility to make it work. At one point I was also convinced of the latter. So I would beg and plead for forgiveness while they would just walk out the door every time "I did something wrong." I was gaslighted into thinking that this was normal. So the cycle continued, until I became numb to the abandonment.

I stopped running back. I thought to myself, if they really wanted me, they'll want to make it work with me, instead of wanting only me to make it work and guilting me into it. This person was clearly able to live without me and that in itself speaks volumes. No words or actions hurt more than ghosting. Go ahead and yell at me, fight with me, but don't leave me hanging in the dark. Because at least when we fight, there's still an effort being made, where as leaving literally does nothing to solve the problem.

I waited.. Waited some more.. Until days passed, then weeks, and now months. How long are you supposed to wait until enough is enough? And how do you leave when you've been brainwashed into thinking it was all your fault? When they didn't do anything wrong, yet they're also not doing anything right? Being in this limbo was unbearable, I had to end it.

If you've done everything in your power to make things work but it's not enough for your partner, then maybe the relationship is just not right for either of you. You shouldn't have to change to please your significant other. Improvements are great, but to change a whole quality of another person is just not feasible and shouldn't be held against you. "Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated." Someone out there will love you for you, all of you, but you can't find them if you don't say goodbye to the ones that don't.

Don't let the pain cripple you but rather let it lead you to what you love. So be Good at Goodbyes, that way you can say Hello to something better.

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